About that time he spoke to me, in substance, as follows: The one
great anxiety of my life has been to preach. I had intended to go to
Bethany, and devote my life entirely to preaching. My sore throat
caused me to give that up, but going to Iowa improved my health, and I
began to preach again. When I took my claim in Kansas it was with the
intention of holding on to the land, while I preached in Illinois,
until Kansas should be thickly enough settled to furnish me preaching
here. But you know how necessity has driven me, and how preaching for
a meager salary, and neglecting my farm, ran me in debt; and what a
hard necessity has been laid on me to pay those debts, and to improve
my farm, so that you and your mother and the boys can make a living
from it. You have no idea what a sore and bitter trial it has been to
me the last six or eight years to see the old churches going to pieces
before my eyes, and so many opportunities for planting new churches
being lost to us. There is only one thing more I must do, and then I
am determined to give myself wholly to preaching.
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