I am sure you will do me the justice to believe that I would strain
every nerve in your service, but it is actually heartbreaking to throw
away my earnings on others. I am no rich man, abounding, like Mr.
Rogers, in superfluous thousands, but working hard for independence, and
what would be the most grateful pleasure to me if likely to be useful to
you personally, becomes merely painful if it causes me to work for
others for whom I can have no such feelings.
This is a most painful subject for me to address you upon, and I am ill
able to express my feelings about it. I commit them entirely to your
liberal construction with a reference to your knowledge of my character.
I have the honour to be, etc.,
JOHN MURRAY.
This letter was submitted to Gifford before it was despatched, and he
wrote:
_Mr. Gifford to John Murray_.
"I have made a scratch or two, and the letter now expresses my genuine
sentiments on the matter. But should you not see Rogers? It is evident
that Lord Byron is a little awkward about this matter, and his officious
friends have got him into a most _unlordly_ scrape, from which they can
only relieve him by treading back their steps.
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