I reject the
kingly estate and the five desires; to escape such sorrows I wander
through the mountain wilds. This, then, would be the consequence of
compliance: that I, who, delighting in religion, am gradually getting
wisdom, should now quit these quiet woods, and returning home, partake
of sensual pleasures, and thus by night and day increase my store of
misery. Surely this is not what should be done! that the great leader of
an illustrious tribe, having left his home from love of religion, and
forever turned his back upon tribal honor, desiring to confirm his
purpose as a leader--that he--discarding outward form, clad in religious
garb, loving religious meditation, wandering through the wilds--should
now reject his hermit vestment, tread down his sense of proper shame and
give up his aim. This, though I gained heaven's kingly state, cannot be
done! how much less to gain an earthly, though distinguished, home!
"For having spewed forth lust, passion, and ignorance, shall I return to
feed upon it? as a man might go back to his vomit! such misery, how
could I bear? Like a man whose house has caught fire, by some expedient
finds a way to escape, will such a man forthwith go back and enter it
again? such conduct would disgrace a man! So I, beholding the evils,
birth, old age, and death, to escape the misery, have become a hermit;
shall I then go back and enter in, and like a fool dwell in their
company? He who enjoys a royal estate and yet seeks rescue, cannot dwell
thus, this is no place for him; escape is born from quietness and rest;
to be a king is to add distress and poison; to seek for rest and yet
aspire to royal condition are but contradictions; royalty and rescue,
motion and rest, like fire and water, having two principles, cannot be
united.
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