Again I experienced such hesitations as had kept me from ever seeking her
at Pagliano, though I had been given the freedom of her garden. Giuliana
had left her brand upon me. And though Bianca had by now achieved for me
what neither prayers nor fasting could accomplish, and had exorcized the
unholy visions of Giuliana from my mind, yet when I came to consider Bianca
as a possible companion--as something more or something less than a saint
enthroned in the heaven created by my worship of her--there rose between us
ever that barrier of murder and adultery, a barrier which not even in
imagination did I dare to overstep.
I strove to put such thoughts from my mind that I might leave it free to do
the work to which I had now vowed myself.
All through that winter we pursued our mission. With the dal Verme we had
but indifferent success, for they accounted themselves safe, being, like
Cavalcanti, feudatories of the Emperor himself, and nowise included in the
territories of Parma and Piacenza. From Romagnese we made our way to the
stronghold of the Anguissola of Albarola, my cousins, who gave me a very
friendly welcome, and who, though with us in spirit and particularly urged
by their hatred of our guelphic cousin Cosimo who was now Pier Luigi's
favourite, yet hesitated as the others had done.
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