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But sex in me had been awakened rudely and ruthlessly. Married without
love I had been suddenly confronted by the lower passion. What wonder
that I had found it brutal and barbarous?
"That's it, my child! That's it! I know! I know!"
Then he began to blame himself for everything, saying it was all his
fault and that he should have held out longer. When he saw how things
stood between me and my husband he should have said to my father, to the
Bishop, and to the lawyers, notwithstanding all their bargainings: "This
marriage must not go on. It will lead to disaster. It begins to end
badly."
"But now it is all over, my child, and there's no help for it."
I think the real strength of my resistance to Aunt Bridget's coarse
ridicule and the advocate's callous remonstrance must have been the
memory of my husband's threat when he talked about the possible
annulment of our marriage. The thought of that came back to me now, and
half afraid, half ashamed, with a fluttering of the heart, I tried to
mention it.


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