It cut me to the heart's core to think of Martin amid thrilling scenes
like those while I was here among degrading scenes like these. My love
for Martin was now like a wound and I resolved that, come what might,
before he reached Castle Raa I should liberate myself from the thraldom
of my false position.
Father Dan's counsels had faded away by this time. Though I had prayed
for strength to bear my burden there had been no result, and one
morning, standing before the figure of the Virgin in my bedroom, I felt
an impulse to blow out her lamp and never to light it again.
The end of it all was that I determined to see the Bishop and my
father's advocate, Mr. Curphy, and perhaps my father himself, that I
might know one way or the other where I was, and what was to become of
me. But how to do this I could not see, having a houseful of people who
were nominally my guests.
Fortune--ill-fortune--favoured me. News came that my father had suddenly
fallen ill of some ailment that puzzled the doctors, and making this my
reason and excuse I spoke to my husband, asking if I might go home for
two or three days.
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