AC dBooks

"He must be suffering too," I told myself.
That was a new thought to me and it cut me to the quick.
When it came to me first I wanted to run after him and throw myself into
his arms, and then I wanted to run away from him altogether.
I felt as if I were on the brink of two madnesses--the madness of
breaking my marriage vows and the madness of breaking the heart of the
man who loved me.
"Oh, what can I do?" I asked myself again.
I wanted him to go; I wanted him to stay; I did not know what I wanted.
At length I remembered that in ordinary course he would be going in two
days more, and I said to myself:
"Surely I can hold out that long."
But when I put this thought to my breast, thinking it would comfort me,
I found that it burnt like hot iron.
Only two days, and then he would be gone, lost to me perhaps for ever.
Did my renunciation require that? It was terrible!
There was a piano in the room, and to strengthen and console myself in
my trouble I sat down to it and played and sang. I sang "Ave Maria
Stella.


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