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FIFTH PART
I BECOME A MOTHER
SEVENTIETH CHAPTER

Next morning, at half-past eight, my Martin left me.
We were standing together in the boudoir between the table and the fire,
which was burning briskly, for the sultry weather had gone in the night,
and the autumn air was keen, though the early sun was shining.
At the last moment he was unwilling to go, and it was as much as I could
do to persuade him. Perhaps it is one of the mysteries which God alone
can read that our positions seemed to have been reversed since the day
before.
He was confused, agitated, and full of self reproaches, while I felt no
fear and no remorse, but only an indescribable joy, as if a new and
gracious life had suddenly dawned on me.
"I don't feel that I can leave England now," he said.
"You can and you must," I answered, and then I spoke of his expedition
as a great work which it was impossible to put off.
"Somebody else must do it, then," he said.
"Nobody else can, or shall," I replied.
"But our lives are for ever joined together now, and everything else
must go by the board.


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