A week later you had embarked upon your first _liaison_. A month later
the whole town was aware of it.
That was about a year after the Professor's death. Six or seven years
have passed since then, and you have gone on from adventure to
adventure, all characterised by the same lamentable lack of discretion.
The reason for this lies in your own tendency to self-deception. You
want to make yourself and others believe that you are always looking for
ideal love and constant ties. In reality your motives are quite
different. You hug the traditional conviction that it would be
disgraceful to own that your pretended love is only an affair of the
senses. And yet, if you had not been so anxious to dupe yourself and
others, you might have gone through life frankly and freely.
The night is far advanced, moreover it is Christmas Eve.
I will not accuse you without producing proofs. Enclosed you will find
a whole series of letters, dated irregularly, for you only used to write
to me when I was away from home in the summer.
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