I do
not trouble about dressing; I wear no jewellery and never look in the
glass.
Very often I feel as though my thoughts had come to a standstill, like a
watch one has forgotten to wind up. But this blank refreshes me.
Weeks have gone by since I wrote in my diary. Several times I have
tried to do so; but when I have the book in front of me, I find I have
nothing to set down.
In the twilight I sit by the fire like an old child and talk to myself.
Then Torp comes to me for the orders which she ends by giving herself,
and I let her talk to me about her own affairs. The other day I got her
on the subject of spooks. She is full of ghost stories, and relates them
with such conviction that her teeth chatter with terror. Happy Torp, to
possess such imagination!
Some days I hardly budge from one position, and can with difficulty
force myself to leave my table; at other times I feel the need of
incessant movement. The forest is very quiet, scarcely a soul walks
there. If I do chance to meet anyone, we glare at each other like two
wild beasts, uncertain whether to attack or to flee from each other.
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