His mania for tidiness often forced me, against my nature, to a
counteracting negligence. I intentionally disarranged the bookshelves in
the library; but he would follow me five minutes afterwards and put
everything in its place again.
Yet had I really cared for him, this fussiness would have been an added
charm in my eyes.
Was Richard always faithful to me? Or, if not, did he derive any
pleasure from his lapses? Naturally enough he must have had many
temptations; and although I, as a mere woman, was hindered by a thousand
conventional reasons, he had opportunities and reasonable excuses for
taking what was offered him.
And probably he did not lose his chances; at any rate when he was away
for long together on business. But I am convinced that his infidelities
were a sort of indirect homage to his lawful wife, and that he did not
derive much satisfaction from them. I am not afraid of being compared
with other women.
After all, my good Richard may have remained absolutely true to me,
thanks to his mania for having all things in order.
Pages:
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153