Not better perhaps, but quite
different. A thousand new feelings awoke in me; I saw, heard, and felt
in an entirely new way. All humanity assumed a new aspect. I, who had
hitherto been so indifferent to the weal or woe of my fellow-creatures,
began to observe and to understand them. I became sympathetic. Towards
women--not towards men. I do not understand the male sex, and this must
be my excuse for the way in which I have so often treated men. For me
there was, and is, only one man in the world: Joergen Malthe.
At first I never gave a thought to the difference in our ages. We were
both young then. But you were poor. No one, least of all myself, guessed
that you carried a field-marshal's baton in your knapsack. Money had not
brought me happiness; but poverty still seemed to me the greatest
misfortune that could befall any human being.
Then you received your first important commission, and I ventured to
dream dreams for us both. I never dreamt of fame and honour; what did I
care whether you carried out the restoration of the cathedral or not?
The pleasure I showed in your talent I did not really feel.
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