A mere accident destroyed my illusions. A friend of my own age had
recently married an officer much younger than herself. At the end of a
year's happiness he left her; and society, far from pitying her, laughed
at her plight.
This drove me to make my supreme resolve--to abandon, and flee from, the
one love of my life.
Joergen, I owe you the best hours I have known: those hours in which you
showed me the plans for the "White Villa."
I feel a bitter, yet unspeakable joy when I think that you yourself
built the walls within which I am living in solitary confinement.
Once I longed for you with a consuming ardour.
Now, alas, I am but a pile of burnt-out ashes. The winds of heaven have
dispersed my dreams.
I go on living because it is not in my nature to do away with myself. I
live, and shall continue to live.
If only you knew what goes on within me, and how low I have sunk that I
can write this confession!
There are thoughts that a woman can never reveal to the man she
loves--even if her own life and his were at stake.
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