I hated to see him lose the chances and let them
be snapped up by littler men. He seemed to waste himself, right and left,
prodigally. But it wasn't that, it wasn't waste. It was all as much a part
of him as his music. He detested the stupidity of wealth and poverty, he
rebelled against laws that aren't laws, but only interests enforced by
authority, he fought against the sheer deadness of prejudice. How he hated
all that! And why not? You see, Vera, he was sensitive to it not only as a
thinker, but as a musician, too. It was all a part of the discord, and
what I used to think his wasting himself was really an effort to create a
larger harmony. He used to say that the beauty of music is only the image
of beauty in life, and that life must come first. He couldn't endure
discords anywhere. Paul despised the musicians who scream at a flatted
_f_ but hunger for the flesh pots after the performance. No, he was never
_that_. And people resented it. The very people who ought to have
understood.
VERA
But he didn't neglect his music, that is...?
JEAN
No. He made enormous efforts to get his violin before the public.
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