Whatever she did, however, she must think of Cis and
Charlie. Having committed such an act, her only course was to bear the
consequences, and do her duty by the innocent children, whose fate would
be cruel enough should she indulge in any weak repentance or seek relief
in confession. She had burdened herself with a disgraceful secret, and
she must bear it her life long. It gave her infinite pain to face Miles
Errington, yet while at one moment she longed to fly from him, the next
she felt an extraordinary desire to hear him speak, to learn the
prevailing tone of his mind, to know his opinions. There was an
earnestness in his look and manner that appealed to her sympathies. He
was a just, upright gentleman. What would he think of the dastardly deed
by which she had robbed him?
"I must not think of it. I must try and forget I ever did it, and be as
good and true as I can in all else. And the will! I must destroy it. I
am sure my poor old uncle meant to do away with it. Perhaps if it were
clean gone I might feel more at rest. How strange it is that instead of
growing accustomed to the contemplation of my own dishonesty I become
more keenly alive to the shame of my act as time rolls on! Perhaps if I
am brave and resolute I may conquer the scorpion stings of
self-reproach.
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