I wish I had gone to Stoneborough before coming out here, now
that I see what a gratification it would have been if I could have
brought a fresh report of old Dr. May. (Somehow, I think there has been
a numbness or obtuseness about me all these last two years which
hindered me from perceiving or doing much that I now regret, since
either the change or the wholesome atmosphere of this house has wakened
me as it were. Among these ungracious omissions is what I now am much
concerned to think of, that I never went to see Lilias when I committed
my child to her charge; nor talked over her disposition. Not that I
really understand it as I ought to have done when the poor child was
left to me. I take shame to myself when Phyllis questions me about
her), but as I watch these children with their parents I am quite
convinced that the being taken under Lily's motherly wing is by far the
best thing that could have befallen Dolores, and that my absence is for
her real benefit as well as mine.'
The part between brackets was omitted by Miss Mohun in the public
reading, but the last sentence she did read, thinking it good for both
parties to hear it. However, Dolores both disliked the conclusion to
which her father had come, and still more that her aunt and cousins
should hear it, though, after all, it was only Gillian and Mysie who
remained to listen by the time the end of the letter was reached. The
long words had frightened away Valetta as soon as her appointed task of
work was finished.
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