President Lincoln heard them patiently, and then
replied: "Gentlemen, suppose all the property you were worth was in
gold, and you had put it in the hands of Blondin to carry across the
Niagara River on a rope; would you shake the cable, or keep shouting out
to him--'Blondin, stand up a little straighter--Blondin, stoop a little
more--go a little faster--lean a little more to the north--lean a little
more to the south?' No, you would hold your breath as well as your
tongue, and keep your hands off until he was safe over. The Government
is carrying an immense weight. Untold treasures are in our hands. We are
doing the very best we can. Don't badger us. Keep silence, and we'll get
you safe across."
Punning is of course out of fashion. The best pun in the English
language is Tom Hood's:
"He went and told the sexton,
And the sexton tolled the bell."
Dr. Johnson said that the pun was the lowest order of wit. Newspapers
formerly indulged in it freely. One editor would say: "We don't care a
straw what Shakespeare said--a rose by any other name would not smell as
wheat." Then another paper would answer: "Such puns are barley
tolerable, they amaize us, they arouse our righteous corn, and they turn
the public taste a-rye."
But punning, when it is unusually clever and spontaneous, may be
thoroughly enjoyable, as in the following:
Chief Justice Story attended a public dinner in Boston at which Edward
Everett was present. Desiring to pay a delicate compliment to the
latter, the learned judge proposed as a volunteer toast:
"Fame follows merit where Everett goes.
Pages:
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44