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Kleiser, Grenville, 1868-1953

"Talks on Talking"

I, myself, who have crowed to the
whole town for near three years past may perhaps put my readers in mind
of a Barnyard Cock; but as I must acquaint them that they will hear the
last of me on this day fortnight, I hope that they will then consider me
as a Swan, who is supposed to sing sweetly at his dying moments.
--_Cowper._
* * * * *
It is almost a definition of a gentleman to say that he is one who never
inflicts pain. This description is both refined, and, so far as it goes,
accurate. He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles which
hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him, and he
concurs with their movements rather than takes the initiative himself.
His benefits may be considered as parallel to what are called the
comforts or conveniences in arrangements of a personal nature--like an
easy chair or a good fire, which do their best in dispelling cold and
fatigue, tho nature provides both means of rest and animal heat without
them. The true gentleman in like manner carefully avoids whatever may
cause a jar or a jolt in the mind of those with whom he is cast--all
clashing of opinion or collision of feeling, all restraint or suspicion
or gloom or resentment, his great concern being to make every one at
ease and at home. He has his eyes on all his company, he is tender
toward the bashful, gentle toward the distant, and merciful toward the
absurd. He can recollect to whom he is speaking; he guards against
unseasonable allusions or topics which may irritate; he is seldom
prominent in conversation, and never wearisome.


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