If I choose I _can_ put this feeling down. I have no right to
it. Philip has done me no wrong. If I yield to it, if it darkens my life,
it will be another grief added to those he has already suffered. It
shan't darken my life. I will--and can master it. There is so much still
to learn, to do, to feel. I must wrench myself free--and go forward. How
I chattered to Philip about the modern woman!--and how much older I feel,
than I was then! If one can't master oneself, one is a slave--all the
same. I didn't know--how could I know?--that the test was so near. If
women are to play a greater and grander part in the world, they must be
much, much greater in soul, firmer in will.
"Yet--I must cry a little. No one could forbid me that. But it must be
over soon."
Then the letters from Beechmark had begun to arrive, each of them
bringing its own salutary smart as part of a general cautery. No guardian
could write more kindly, more considerately. But it was easy to see that
Philip's whole being was, and would be, concentrated on his unfortunate
son.
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