Wall, I took it hum and hed it
about three months, and it never sed a
durned word. I put in most of my spare
time tryin' to git it to say "Uncle Josh," but
the durned critter wouldn't do it, so I got
mad at him one day and throwed him out in
the barn yard amongst the chickens, and left
him thar. Wall, when I went out the next
mornin', I tell you thar wuz a sight. Half
of them chickens wuz dead, and the rest of
'em wuz skeered to death, and that durned
parrit had a rooster by the neck up agin the
barn, and jist a givin' him an awful whippin',
and every time he'd hit him he'd say, "Now
you say Uncle Josh, gol durn you, you say
Uncle Josh."
Uncle Josh in Wall Street
I USED to read in our town paper down home
at Punkin Centre a whole lot about Wall street
and them bulls and bears, and one thing and
another, so I jist sed to myself--now
Joshua, when you git down to New York
City, that's jist what you want to see. Wall,
when I got to New York, I got a feller to
show me whar it wuz, and I'll be durned
if I know why they call it Wall street;
it didn't hav any wall round it. I walked
up and down it bout an hour and a half,
and I couldn't find any stock exchange
or see any place fer watterin' any stock. I
couldn't see a pig nor a cow, nor a sheep
nor a calf, or anything else that looked like
stock to me.
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