Wall when they
wan't a looking I got out of thar, and I felt
mighty thankful to git out. There wuz a
feller standin' on the front steps; he had a
sort of a unyform on; I guess he wuz Superintendent
of the institushun; he talked purty
sassy to me. I sed, Mister, what time does
the fust car go up town. He sed "the fust
one went about twenty-five years ago." I
sed to him--is that my car over thar? He
sed "no sir, that car belongs to the street car
company." I sez, wall guess I'll take it anyhow.
He says "you'd better not, thar's bin
a good many cars missed around here
lately." I sed, wall now, I want to know, is
thar anything round here any fresher than
you be? He sed, "yes, sir, that bench
you're a sotten on is a little fresher; they
painted it about ten minnits ago." Wall, I
got up and looked, and durned if he wasn't right.
Uncle Josh and the Fire Department
ONE day in New York, I thot I'd rite a letter
home. Wall after I'd got it all writ, I sed to
the landlord of the tavern--now, whar abouts
in New York do you keep the post offis? And
he sed, "what do you want with the post
offis?" So I told him I'd jist writ a letter
home to mother and Samantha Ann, and
I'd like to go to the post offis and mail
it. And he told me "you don't have to
go to the post offis, do you see that little
box on the post thar on the corner?" I
alowed as how I did.
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