"
Durned if I know which one of 'em got
it; when I left they wuz still a biddin' on it.
----
Advice--Advice is somethin' the other feller can't
use, so he gives it to you.
--Punkin Centre Philosophy.
Uncle Josh on a Fifth Ave. 'Bus
I WUZ always sort of fond of ridin', so I
guess while I wuz down in New York I rode on
about everything they've got to ride on thar.
I wuz on hoss cars and hot air cars, and
them sky light elevated roads. Wall, I
had jist about cum to the conclushun that
every street in New York had a different
kind of a street car on it, but I found one
that didn't have care of any kind, I think
they call it Avenoo Five. Wall, I wuz a
standin' thar one day a watchin' the people
and things go by, when all to onct along cum
the durndest lookin' contraption I calculate
I ever seen in my life. It wuz a sort of a
wagon, kind of a cross between a band wagon
and a hay rack, and it had a pair of stairs
what commenced at the hind end and rambled
around all over the wagon. I sed to a
gentleman standin' thar: "Mr. in the name
of all that's good and bad, what do you call
that thing?" He sed: "Wall, sir, that's a
Fifth Avenoo 'bus." I sed: "Wall, now,
I want to know, kin I ride on it?" And he
sed: "You kin if you've got a nickel.
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