Wall, I got out thar, and he sed:
"Now look here, honest injun, did you give
me that five-dollar bill?" I sed: "Yes,
sir, that's jist what I done," and he sed,
"Wall, now, which one of the hosses do you
want?" Gosh, I don't believe I'd gin him
five dollars fer the whole durned outfit.
----
Ambition--Somethin' that has made one man a
senator, and another man a convict.
--Punkin Centre Philosophy
Uncle Josh in a Department Store
ONE day while I wuz in New York I sed to a
feller, now whar kin I find one of them
stores whar they hav purty near everything
to sell what thar is on earth, and he sed "I
guess you mean a department store, don't you?"
I sed, wall I don't know bout that; they
may sell departments at one of them stores,
but what I want to git is some muzlin
and some caliker. Wall he showed me
which way to go, and I started out, and
wuz walkin' along down the street lookin'
at things, when some feller throwed
a bananer peelin' on the sidewalk. Wall
now I don't think much of a man what
throws a bananer peelin' on the sidewalk,
and I don't think much of a bananer
what throws a man on the sidewalk,
neether. Wall, by chowder, my foot hit
that bananer peelin' and I went up in the
air, and cum down ker-plunk, and fer about
a minnit I seen all the stars what stronomy
tells about, and some that haint been discovered
yit.
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