A little further up the street I seen a sine
what sed, "This is the door." Now, any
durned fool could see it wuz a door. And
then I seen another sine what sed "Walk
in." Wall, now, I wunder how in thunder
they thought a feller wuz a goin' to cum in,
on hoss back, or on a bisickle, or how. And
then I seen another sine, it wuz in a winder
and had a lot of tools around it, and the sine
sed, "Cast iron sinks." Wall, now, any
durned fool what don't know that cast iron
sinks, ought to have some one feel his head
and find out what ails him.
Uncle Josh on a Street Car
NOW I'll jist bet I had more fun to the squar
inch while I wuz in New York, than any old feller
what ever broke out of a New England smoke house.
I had a little the durnd'st time a ridin' on
them street cars what they got thar. Wall I
wa'nt a ridin' on 'emnear as much as I wuz a runnin'
after 'em tryin' to ketch 'em. Gosh, I wuz
a runnin' after street cars and fire ingines,
and every durned thing with red wheels on
it, I calculate I run about a mile and a half
after a feller one day to tell him the water
what he had in his wagon wuz all leakin'
out, and when I caught up to him I found
out it wuz a durned old sprinklin' cart.
Wall I got on one of them street cars one
day, and it wuz purty crowded, and thar
wa'nt any place fer me to sot down, so I had
to hang onto one of them little harness straps
along side of the car.
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