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Stewart, Cal

"Uncle Josh's Punkin Centre Stories"

I
knowed that wasn't any of my business, and
I sort of felt uneasy like; but none of the
rest of the folks seemed to mind it any, so I
calculated I'd see how it cum out, though my
hands sort of itched to get hold of one feller,
'cause I could see if he would jest go 'way
and tend to his own business thar wouldn't
be any quarrel. Wall, jest then a young feller
handed me a piece of paper what told all
about the theater doin's, and I got to lookin'
at that and I noticed on it whar it sed thar
wuz five years took place 'tween the fust
part and the second part. I knowed durned
well I wouldn't have time to wait and see
the second part, so I got up and went out.
Wall, them theater doin's jest put me in
mind of somethin' what happened down
hum on the last day of school. You see the
school teacher got all the big boys and the
big girls, and the boys they read essays and
the girls recited poetry. One of the Skinner
girls recited a piece that sooted me fust rate.
Neer as I kin remember it went somethin'
like this:
How nice to hear the bumble-bee
When you go out a fishin',
But if you happen to sot down on him,
He'll spoil your disposition.

I liked that; thar wuz somethin' so
touchin' about it. Then the school teacher
he got all the girls in the 'stronomy class and
he dressed them up to represent the different
kinds of planits.


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