He had one girl to represent
the sun--she wuz red-headed; and another
one to represent the moon, and another
one fer Mars, and another one fer Jerupetir,
and it looked mighty fine, and everythin'
wuz a gettin' along fust rate 'til old Jim
Lawson 'lowed he could make an improvement
on it; so he went out and got a colord
girl, and he wanted to sot her between the
sun and the moon and make an eklips. And
as usual he busted up the whole doin's.
Uncle Josh at Delmonico's
I USED to hear the summer boarders tell
a whole lot about a place here in New York
kept by Mr. Delmonico. Thar's
bin about ten thousand summer
boarders down to Punkin Centre
one time and another, and I guess I've
carried the bundles and stood the grumblin'
from about all of them; and when anyone of
'em would find fault with anythin' I used to
ast him whar he boarded at in New York,
and they all told me at Mr. Delmonico's; so
I'd cum to the conclusion that Mr. Delmonico
must hav a right smart purty good sized
tavern; and I sed to mother--now mother,
when I git down to New York that's whar
I'm goin' to board, at Mr. Delmonico's.
Wall, I got a feller to show me whar it
wuz, and when I got on the inside I don't
s'pose I wuz ever more sot back in all my
life; guess you could have knocked my eyes
off with a club; they stuck out like bumps
on a log.
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