"
Wall, one day last summer I wuz a sottin'
out on my back porch, when along cum one
of them thar lightning rod agents. Wall,
he jist cum right up and commenced a-talkin'
at me jist as if he'd bin the town marshal
or a tax assessor, or like he'd known me all
his life. He sed, "My dear sir, I am astonished
at you. I've looked over your entire
premises and I find you haven't got a lightning
rod on any buildin' that you possess.
Why, my dear sir, don't you know you are
flyin' right in the face of Providence? Don't
you know that lightning may strike at any
time and demolish everything within the
sound of my voice? Don't you know you
are criminally negligent? Why, my dear
sir, I am astonished to think that a man of
your jedgment and good common sense
should allow yourself to----" Wall, about
that time I'd got my breath and wits at the
same time, and I sed, "Now hold on, gosh
durn ye, what hav ye got to sell anyhow?"
Wall, he told me he had some lightnin' rods,
and he brought out a little masheen and told
me to take hold of the handles and he'd
show me what a powerful thing 'lectricity
wuz. Wall, I took hold of them handles and
he turned on a crank, and that durned masheen
jist made me dance all over the porch,
and it wouldn't let go. Gee whiz, I felt as
though I'd fell in a yeller jacket's nest, and
about four thousand of 'em wuz a stingin'
me all to onct.
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