Wall now
I must say I didn't see much ball playin' of
any kind. All I got to see wuz about fifty
or sixty ambulances, and I think about that
many surgons and phisicians. Wall, from
what I could see of the game I calculate
they needed all of them. I saw one feller
and 'bout fifty others had him down, and it
jist looked as though they wuz all trying to
get a kick at him. They had a half back
and a quarter back; I suppose when they got
through with that feller he wuz a hump
back. Anyhow, if that's what they call foot
ball playin', your Uncle Josh don't want any
foot ball in his'n.
I never played but one game of ball in
my life that I kin remember on, and don't
believe that I ever will forgit that. You see it
wuz along in the spring time of the yeer, and
the weather wuz purty warm and sunshiny,
and the boys sed to me, "Uncle, we'd like
to have you help us play a game of base
ball." I sed, "Boys, I'm gittin' a little too
old fer those kinds of passtimes, but I'll help
you play one game, I'll be durned if I
don't." Wall, we got out in the paster and
wuz gittin' ready to play; we got the bases
and bats put around in thar places, and a
buckit of drinkin' water up in the fence
corner, whar we could get a drink when we
wanted it. We didn't have any bleachers,
but we had thirty or forty hogs, and they
wuz the best rooters you ever seen; jist then
I happened to look around and thar wuz the
biggest billy goat I ever saw in all my life.
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