Old Deacon
Witherspoon he's bin a-ridin' a bisickle to
Sunday school, and Jim Lawson he couldn't
ride one of them 'cause he's got a wooden
leg; but he jist calculated if he could git it
hitched up to the mowin' masheen, he could
cut more hay with it than any man in Punkin
Centre. Somebody sed Si Pettingill wuz
tryin' to pick apples with a bisickle.
Wall, all our boys and girls are ridin'
bisickles now, and nothin' would do but I
must learn how to ride one of them. Wall,
I didn't think very favorably on it, but in
order to keep peace in the family I told them
I would learn. Wall, gee whilikee, by gum.
I wish you had bin thar when I commenced.
I took that masheen by the horns and I led
it out into the middle of the road, and I
got on it sort of unconcerned like, and
then I got off sort of unconcerned like.
Wall, I sot down a minnit to think it
over, and then the trouble commenced.
I got on that durned masheen and it
jumped up in the front and kicked up behind,
and bucked up in the middle, and
shied and balked and jumped sideways,
and carried on worse 'n a couple of steers
the fust time they're yoked. Wall, I managed
to hang on fer a spell, and then I went
up in the air and cum down all over that bisickle.
I fell on top of it and under it and
on both sides of it; I fell in front of the
front wheel and behind the hind wheel at
the same time.
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