Durned if I know how I
done it but I did. I run my foot through
the spokes, and put about a hundred and
fifty punctures in a hedge fence, and skeered
a hoss and buggy clar off the highway. I
done more different kinds of tumblin' than
any cirkus performer I ever seen in my life,
and I made more revolutions in a fifteen-foot
circle than any buzz-saw that ever wuz invented.
Wall, I lost the lamp, I lost the
clamp, I lost my patience, I lost my temper,
I lost my self-respect, my last suspender button
and my standin' in the community. I
broke the handle bars, I broke the sprockets,
I broke the ten commandments, I broke
my New Year's pledge and the law agin loud
and abusive language, and Jim Lawson got
so excited he run his wooden leg through a
knot-hole in the porch and couldn't git it
out agin. Wall, I'm through with it; once
is enough fer me. You kin all ride your
durned old bisickles that want to, but fer my
part I'd jist as soon stand up and walk as to
sit down and walk. No more bisickles fer
your Uncle Josh, not if he knows it, and
your Uncle Josh sort of calculates as how
he do.
----
Notoriety--A next door neighbor to glory, but another
way of gittin' it. --Punkin Centre Philosophy.
A Baptizin' at the Hickory Corners Church
A LONG about two summers ago we had a baptizin'
at the Hickory Corners Church, and before the
baptizin' we had preachin', and before the preachin'
we had Sunday school.
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