" Wall,
I jist made up my mind he wuz one of them
cirkus sharpers, and when he wan't a-lookin'
I pulled a ten dollar bill out of my pockit
and give it to him; and the durned fool
didn't know but what it wuz the same one
that he lost. Gosh, I jist fooled him out of
his two dollars slicker 'n a whistle. I tell
you cirkus day is a great time in Punkin
Centre.
Uncle Josh Invites the City Folks to Visit Him
I DIDN'T s'pose when I wuz gittin' ready to
go home, that all you folks would be down
here to the depo' to see me off. Wall, now,
that's purty good of ye, I'll be durned it it
ain't. Yes, I guess I'll have to be goin' home now;
I've stayed here this time 'bout as long as I
kin afford to. I must say, some of you folks
have made it purty warm fer me since I've
bin here in New York; but I guess I've enjoyed
it 'bout as much as you have.
I'd like to have you all cum down to
Punkin Centre and see MEE some time this
summer, if you hadn't got nuthin' else to do.
Lots of fun down thar on that farm of mine,
huntin', fishin', and shootin', and other
things. Wall, I never shot but one bird in
my life, and that wuz a squirrel; yes, sir, a
flyin' squirrel.
I had a feller workin' fer me on the farm
last summer, and he was cross-eyed, and I
sent him out in the paster to dig a well fer
me, and what do you s'pose? Wall he dug it
so tarnal all-fired crooked that he fell out of
it and sprained his ankel.
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