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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"--_Puck_.

The actress stood before her mirror, in doublet and hose, and regarded
her thin legs anxiously.
"I'm not exactly a poem," said she, "but I may pass for heroic verse."


ADVERTISING

_The Question is How Much More?_
TO RENT--In private home, a large, handsomely furnished front room;
also a medium-sized one; every convenience; centrally and very
choicely located; rent more than reasonable. Address, etc.--

Advertising is the test of integrity; the proof of integrity;
that transmits an ever-increasing confidence to both producer and
purchaser.

"I won't pay one cent for my advertising this week," declared the
store-keeper angrily to the editor of the country paper. "You told me
you'd put the notice of my shoe-polish in with the reading-matter."
"And didn't I do it?" inquired the editor.
"No, sir!" roared the advertiser. "No, sir, you did not! You put it in
the column with a mess of poetry, that's where you put it!"

"Paw, what is an advertisement?"
"An advertisement is the picture of a pretty girl eating, wearing,
holding or driving something that somebody wants to sell."

A violinist was bitterly disappointed with the account of his recital
printed in the paper of a small town.


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