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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

'"

_Consolation_
"How did your novel come out?"
"Well," replied the self-confident man, "it proved beyond all doubt
that it isn't one of these trashy best-sellers."

The late Ambassador Walter Hines Page was formerly editor of The
World's Work and, like all editors, was obliged to refuse a great many
stories. A lady once wrote him:
"_Sir_: you sent back last week a story of mine. I know that you did
not read the story, for as a test I had pasted together pages 18, 19,
and 20, and the story came back with these pages still pasted; and so
I know you are a fraud and turn down stories without reading same."
Mr. Page wrote back:
"_Madame_: At breakfast when I open an egg I don't have to eat the
whole egg to discover it is bad."

The great novelist summoned his publisher to his luxurious home.
"Have your salesmen," he asked, "prepared for their semi-annual trip
among the down-trodden booksellers?"
"They have."
"Has your publicity man written the usual biographical notices and
arranged for a series of dinners in my honor?"
"He has."
"Have your great minds selected a title for my forthcoming work?"
"Indeed, yes."
"Then what do you want me to write about?"
The publisher drew from his pocket a paper.


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