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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

'"


BEQUESTS

"There's a story connected with this diamond," said Heinie, pointing
to a big, handsome stone which sparkled in his shirt front. "A friend
of mine by the name of Meyer lay sick in bed. I being his best friend,
he sent for me and said:
"'Heinie, I'm a very sick man. I ain't got long to live. I'm worth
a lot of money, and I'm going to leave it all to you and my other
friends. But I want you to do me one favor. Take this money and when
I'm dead and laid away buy me a nice stone.'
"Those were Meyer's last words, and the day of the funeral I bought
this stone. But how can I give it to him when he's dead?"


BETTING

"Charley, dear," said young Mrs. Torkins, "I am glad to see you taking
as much interest in politics as you formerly took in racing."
"It is the duty of every man and woman to take an interest in
politics."
"Do you wish me to vote for the same candidate that you do?"
"Why shouldn't you?"
"I thought it might be a good idea for me to vote for the other one.
It would be a satisfaction to feel that one or the other of us has at
last succeeded in picking a winner."

A Scottish gentleman on a trip to New Orleans went to see his first
horse-race.


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