"
"Did you laugh him to scorn?'"
"I did at first; but when he sent in his bill, I found he was right."
TOMMY--"Why do the ducks dive?"
HARP--"Guess they must want to liquidate their bills."
Bill Sprague kept a general store at Croyden Four Corners. One day
he set off for New York to buy a lot of goods. The goods were shipped
immediately; and as Bill had lingered in New York sightseeing, they
reached Croyden Four Corners before him. The goods in an enormous
packing-case were driven to the general store by the local teamster.
Mrs. Sprague came out to see what had arrived and, with a shriek,
tottered and fell.
"Oh, what's the matter, ma'am?" cried the hired girl.
Mrs Sprague, her eyes blinded with tears, pointed to the packing-case,
whereon was stenciled in large black letters: "BILL INSIDE."
When you do not intend to pay a bill there is nothing like being
decisive in your refusal. The other day a bookseller had an "account
rendered" returned to him with the following reply scrawled across the
billhead: "Dear Sir--I never ordered this beastly book. If I did, you
didn't send it. If you sent it, I never got it. If I got it, I
paid for it. If I didn't, I won't. Now go and hang yourself, you
fathead.
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