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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

'"
MANAGER--"Yes, but you must keep in mind that Milton's most famous
book was about a fellow that lost his job and went to hades."

"What do you think of my library?"
"I was just looking it over and I notice that you were visited by the
same book agents who landed me."

"There's a fellow outside with a volume of poems
(The title, I think is 'The Beautiful Gnomes'),
He says it's the best of poetical tomes."
"I'll see him next Christmas," the publisher said.
"There's a gentleman waiting to tell you about
A novel of his, which, without any doubt
(So he says), will make critics with happiness shout."
"Oh, tell him I'm ill or rheumatic--or dead."
"There's also a lady who's just come away
From Russia; she says that the Reds are at bay,
And she's willing to write it at so much a day."
"I've just left for Portugal, China and Mars."
"And then there's a bookseller--looks like a gink--
From somewhere out West; Indiana, I think.
I'll tell him you're out buying authors a drink."
"A bookseller? In with him! Boy, the cigars!"
--_Edward Anthony_.

CANVASSER--"May I have a few minutes of your time?"
PROSPECT--"Yes, if you will be brief.


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