"Your illuminator, I say, is shrouded in unmitigated oblivion."
"I don't quite--"
"The effulgence of your irradiator has evanesced."
"My dear fellow, I--"
"The transversal ether oscillations in your incandenser have been
discontinued."
Just then a little newsboy came over and said:
"Say, mister, yer lamp's out!"
Senator Hoar used to tell with glee of a Southerner just home from
New England who said to his friend, "You know those little white round
beans?"
"Yes," replied the friend; "the kind we feed to our horses?"
"The very same. Well, do you know, sir, that in Boston the enlightened
citizens take those little white round beans, boil them with molasses
and I know not what other ingredients, bake them, and then--what do
you suppose they do with the beans?"
"They--"
"They eat 'em, sir," interrupted the first Southerner impressively;
"bless me, sir, they eat 'em!"
The newly married couple had gone West to live, and as the Christmas
season drew nigh she became homesick.
"Even the owls are different here," she sighed.
"And how is that?" he asked.
"Here they say 'To-hoot-to-who,' and in Boston they say
'To-hoot-to-whom.'"
"Lay down, pup. Lay down.
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