"Why, on the door there--'Push.'"
He got the job of keeper of that very door.
The proprietors of two rival livery-stables, situated alongside each
other in a busy street, have been having a lively advertising duel
lately.
The other week one of them stuck up on his office window a long strip
of paper, bearing the words:
"Our horses need no whip to make them go."
This bit of sarcasm naturally caused some amusement at the expense of
the rival proprietor, but in less than an hour he neatly turned the
tables by pasting the following retort on his own window:
"True. The wind blows them along!"
A group of farmers were complaining of the potato bugs' ravages.
"The pests ate my whole potato crop in two weeks," said one farmer.
"They ate my crop in two days," said a second farmer, "and then they
roosted on the trees to see if I'd plant more."
A drummer for a seed house cleared his throat.
"Gents," he said, "all that's very remarkable. Let me tell you,
though, what I saw in our own store. I saw a couple of potato bugs
examining the books about a week before planting time to see who had
bought seed."
UNFORTUNATE PEDESTRIAN (who has been knocked down and dazed)--"Where
am I? Where am I?"
ENTERPRISING HAWKER--"'Ere y'are, sir--map of London, one
penny.
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