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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"


CAPITAL AND LABOR

WILLIE--"Paw, what is the difference between capital and labor?"
PAW--"Well, the money you lend represents capital, and getting it back
represents labor, my son."

If you divorce capital from labor, capital is hoarded, and labor
starves.--_Daniel Webster_.


CARD INDEX
MINING-STOCK PROMOTER--"Where can I hide? The police are coming!"
CHIEF CLERK--"Get into the card-index case. I defy any one to find
anything in there."--_Judge_.


CARELESSNESS

Care may kill people, but don't care kills more.

The editor in charge of the Personal Inquiry column opened his
seventieth letter with a groan.
"I have lost three husbands," a lady reader had written,
confidentially, "and now have the offer of a fourth. Shall I accept
him?"
The editor dipped his pen in the ink. This was the last straw.
"If you've lost three husbands," he wrote, "I should say you are much
too careless to be trusted with a fourth."


CATALOGING

One of the best examples of the humors of cataloging comes in
Sonnenschein's "Best Books," volume one, page 121, where Prof. Henry
Preserved Smith's well-known Old Testament History appears thus:
_Smith, Prf.


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