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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"Ah
wants ter enj'y dem chickens mahself."

"Is your husband a good provider, Dinah?"
"Yessum, he's a good providah all right, but I'se allus skeered dat
niggah's gwine er git caught at it."

"Is dem you-all's chickens?"
"Cohse dey's my-all's chickens. Who's chickens did you 'spose dey
was?"
"I wasn' s'posen' nuffin about 'em. But I will say dat it's mighty
lucky dat a chicken won' come a runnin' an' a waggin' its tail when
its regular owner whistles, same as a dog."

Rastus had caught Sambo red-handed.
"Ah'm gwine hab yo' arrested foh stealin' mah chickens, yo' Sambo
Washin'ton-dat's jess what ah'm gwine to do," said Rastus.
"Go ahead, nigguh," retorted Sambo. "Go ahead and hab me arrested.
Ah'll mek yo' prove whar yo' got dem chickens yo'seff!"

JUDGE-"I'm going to fine you five dollars for the chickens you stole
the last two weeks."
RASTUS-"How'll it be if Ah pays seben-fifty, Jedge? Dat'll pay fob up
to an' includin' next Saturday night."--_Life_.

A negro soldier was brought up before his superior officer, who said:
"Sam, you are charged with stealing a chicken from this Frenchwoman's
farm. Now, how about it? Have you any witnesses to stand for you?"
"Witnesses?" echoed Sam in surprise.


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