One time his mother, nearly losing patience, said: "Junior, why do you
persist in coming to the table without washing? You know I always send
you away."
"Well," said Junior, meekly, "once you forgot."
TOMMY (after a thumping)--"You're awful hard on me, ma."
MOTHER--"That's because you've been very naughty and wicked."
TOMMY--"Well, gee! You should remember that you didn't die young
yourself."
"Can your little baby brother talk yet?" a kindly neighbor inquired of
a small lad.
"No, he can't talk, and there ain't no reason why he should talk," was
the disgusted reply. "What does he want to talk for when all he has
to do is yell a while to get everything in the house that's worth
having?"
Mrs. Jones was getting dinner ready when in came little Fred with a
happy smile on his face.
"What has mamma's darling been doing this morning?" asked his mother.
"I have been playing Postman," replied little Fred.
"Postman?" exclaimed his mother. "How could you do that when you had
no letters?"
"Oh, but I had," replied Fred. "I was looking in your trunk up in your
room and I found a packet of letters tied 'round with a ribbon, and I
posted one under every door in the street.
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