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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"


"I know it leaves one in a fix,
This straightening of crooked sticks."
She had six.
And one declared, "There's no rule giv'n,
But do your best and trust to heav'n!"
She had sev'n.
--_Alice Crowell Hoffman_.

Tom, the country six-year-old, presenting himself one day in even more
than his usual state of dust and disorder, was asked by his mother
if he would not like to be a little city boy, and always be nice and
clean in white suits and shoes and stockings. Tom answered scornfully:
"They're not children; they're pets."

_Up-to-date_
KIND STRANGER--"How old is your baby brother, little girl?"
LITTLE GIRL--"He's a this year's model."

The lawyer was sitting at his desk absorbed in the preparation of a
brief. So intent was he on his work that he did not hear the door as
it was pushed gently open, nor see the curly head that was thrust into
his office. A little sob attracted his notice, and turning, he saw a
face that was streaked with tears and told plainly that feelings had
been hurt.
"Well, my little man, did you want to see me?"
"Are you a lawyer?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I want"--and there was a resolute ring in his voice--"I want a
divorce from my papa and mamma.


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