"
George was hampered by a mother whose idea of godliness was
cleanliness. Notwithstanding the frequent baths to which he was
condemned George thrived exceedingly. One day a neighbor remarked on
his rapid growth.
"Yes," said George, "that's ma's fault--she waters me so much."
_See also_ Boys.
CHOICES
The Czar was recently complimenting a soldier, and asked him if he
would rather have 100 rubles or the Iron Cross.
"Would your Majesty deign to tell me the value of the cross?" inquired
the private.
"Oh, it is not worth much intrinsically, perhaps two rubles."
"Then, your Majesty, I will take the cross and ninety-eight rubles."
This is an interesting episode, and the most interesting thing about
it is that it also happened during the Franco-Prussian War, the
Crimean War, the Seven Years' War, and the Marlborough campaigns.
_Eyeball or Highball_
An old Scotsman was threatened with blindness if he did not give up
drinking.
"Now, McTavish," said the doctor, "it's like this: You've either to
stop the whisky or lose your eyesight, and you must choose."
"Ay, weel, doctor," said McTavish, "I'm an auld man noo, an' I was
thinkin' I ha'e seen about everything worth seein'.
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