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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"
DIX--"Yes, that's right."
HIX--"For a vacation, I suppose?"
DIX--"Yes; the congregation decided that we were entitled to one."


CHURCH ATTENDANCE

"What's the idea of free pews?"
"Well, it gives everyone a chance to stay away from church at a
minimum expense."

_Why They Went to Church_
Mrs. Clogg went to find out where the missionary meeting would be
held.
Willie Jones went because his mother made him.
His sister went because she had her hair up for the first time.
Sadie Williams went to flirt with the Scott boy.
The Scott boy went to flirt with Sadie Williams.
James B. Jenkins went because he had done so for fourteen years.
The sexton went because he had to pump the organ.

One of the girl ushers in a Flatbush theater had a problem offered her
the other evening. She was showing two women to their seats.
"Is the show this evening fit for church women to see?" asked one of
the pillaresses of a Flatbush congregation.
"I--I don't know," responded the girl. Then she brightened. "You see,"
she said, "I don't have no time to go to church."

Mr. Dickson, a colored barber in a large New England town, was shaving
one of his customers, a respectable citizen, one morning, when a
conversation occurred between them respecting Mr.


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