Andrew ran up to his
mother in great excitement and said:
"Mamma, is that one a collector?"
Whereat his mother asked him why. Then Andrew said:
"Well, he can't get in."
"Hello Millett," called out a neighbor one morning "I saw you starting
away yesterday morning very early on your fishing trip. Did you have
any luck?"
"Great!" was the reply. "While I was away three collectors called."
"I wish to see Mr. Jones about a bill."
"He's away on vacation, sir."
"Did he leave any address?"
"Yes, sir. For bill collectors it's 'Somewhere in America.'"
MERCHANT: "They say you are very successful with old bills and seldom
have to dun them twice. What's the secret?"
BAD-BILL COLLECTOR: "I am afflicted with insomnia and do my collecting
nights."
A Texas tradesman has this pertinent sign in a conspicuous place in
his store:
Man is made of dust.
Dust Settles.
Be a Man!
"Norah," said Mrs. Dedbeat, from the top of the stairs, "tell that man
who is ringing the doorbell that I am not receiving today!"
The servant girl went to the door and said something to the man; then
she stepped into the hall and called upstairs:
"I told him you were not receivin' today, ma'am! But he says he ain't
deliverin', he's collectin'!"
He was running a small provision-store in a newly developed district,
and the big wholesale dealers found him very backward in payment of
his accounts.
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