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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

'"--_Harper's_.

_See also_ Degrees.


COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES

SOPH.--"How does it happen you came to Harvard? I thought your father
was a Yale man."
FRESH.--"He was. He wanted me to go to Yale; I wanted to go to
Princeton. We had an argument and he finally told me to go to
H----."--_Yale Record_.

_On The Aristocracy of Harvard_
I come from good old Boston,
The home of the bean and the cod;
Where the Cabots speak only to Lowells,
And the Lowells speak only to God!
--_Dr. Samuel G. Bushnell_.

_On the Democracy of Yale_
Here's to the town of New Haven,
The home of the truth and the light;
Where God speaks to Jones in the very same tones,
That he uses with Hadley and Dwight!
--_Dean Jones_.


COMMITTEE

BOBBIE--"What is a committee, pa?"
FATHER--"A committee, my son, is something which takes a week to do
what one good man can do in an hour."


COMMON SENSE

A farmer, just arrived in town, was walking across the street and
happened to notice a sign on a hardware store, "Cast Iron Sinks."
He stood for a minute and then said, "Any fool knows that."

Common sense is in spite of, not because of age.


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