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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

But I find the earlier the train the less
everybody cares to talk."


COMPARISONS

MR. JOHNSON (indignantly)--"Now see here, yo'! Dat's twice yo' called
me Jackson! If yo' don't know no moah dan to confuse me wif dat
wall-eyed, knock-kneed, bandy-legged, fiat-footed, paraletic nigger
Jackson, we'll call dis game right here!"
MR. PERSIMMONS--"'Scuse me, Johnson-'scuse me! Don't draw a razor on
me like Jackson did de other night wen I called him Johnson. Yo'
two fellahs ain't such a much alike 'cept in youah looks an general
characteristics. Dat's all."

It is said that Mr. Asquith has only once been known to laugh outright
when on a public platform. The record-making occasion was at a
political meeting in Scotland. The Premier was constantly being
interrupted, one of the chief hecklers being a farmer wearing a large
straw hat. Suddenly from someone in the hall came a very personal
remark concerning Mr. Asquith.
"Who said that?" he demanded, quickly.
There was sudden silence. Then a man in the audience stood up, and,
pointing to the farmer with the straw hat, shouted:
"It was him wi' the coo's breakfast on his head!"
The reply was altogether too much for Mr. Asquith, and he had to join
in the general roar of laughter.


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