COMPENSATION
"There's a bright side to everything."
"To those high food prices?"
"Certainly. Think of the cases of indigestion they have cured."
A little girl who had been out walking with her aunt heard the latter
complaining that her feet were tired. "My feet get tired too, when
I go out walking," said the small maiden, "but I always think what a
nice ride my stomach has been having."
"Anyhow, there's one advantage in having a wooden leg," said the
veteran.
"What's that?" asked his friend.
"You can hold your socks up with thumb-tacks."
COMPETITION
The clergyman's eloquence may have been at fault, still he felt
annoyed to find that an old gentleman fell asleep during the sermon on
two consecutive Sundays. So, after service on the second week, he told
the boy who accompanied the sleeper that he wished to speak to him in
the vestry.
"My boy," said the minister, when they were closeted together, "who is
that elderly gentleman you attend church with?"
"Grandpa," was the reply.
"Well," said the clergyman, "if you will only keep him awake during my
sermon, I'll give you a nickel each week."
The boy fell in with the arrangement, and for the next two weeks the
old gentleman listened attentively to the sermon.
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