SEARCH
0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Prev | Current Page 141 | Next

Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

The third week,
however, found him soundly asleep.
The vexed clergyman sent for the boy and said: "I am very angry with
you. Your grandpa was asleep again today. Didn't I promise you a
nickel a week to keep him awake?"
"Yes," replied the boy, "but grandpa now gives me a dime not to
disturb him."

"Yes," said the specialist, as he stood at the bedside of the sick
purchasing agent, "I can cure you."
"What will it cost?" asked the sick man, faintly.
"Ninety-five dollars."
"You'll have to shade your price a little," replied the purchasing
agent, "I have a better bid from the undertaker."


COMPLIMENTS

A rector in South London was visiting one of his poorer parishioners,
an old woman, afflicted with deafness. She expressed her great regret
at not being able to hear his sermons. Desiring to be sympathetic
and to say something consoling, he replied, with unnecessary
self-depreciation, "You don't miss much."
"So they tell me," was the disconcerting reply.

"You don't seem to enjoy being referred to as a good loser."
"No," replied Cactus Joe. "In the course of time a good loser comes to
be regarded merely as a poor performer."

_See also_ Tact.


CONCEIT

The small girl was at the table drawing, and her mother asked her what
the picture was to be.


Pages:
129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153