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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"
The couple agreed, and at the proper moment the clergyman said: "Will
those who wish to be united in the holy bond of matrimony please come
forward?"
Thereupon thirteen women and one man proceeded to the altar.

The Irish lad and the Yiddish boy were engaged in verbal combat.
Finally the subject came down to their respective churches.
"I guess I know that Father Harrity knows more than your Rabbi," the
little Irish boy insisted.
"Shure, he does; vy not?" replied the Jewish boy. "You tell him
everything."


CONFIDENCES

A man got in a cab at a Southern railway station and said: "Drive me
to a haberdasher's."
"Yaas, suh," said the driver, whipped up his horse and drove a block;
then he leaned over to address his passenger: "'Scuse me, boss; whar
d' you say you wanter go?"
"To a haberdasher's."
"Yaas, suh; yaas, suh." After another block there was the same
performance: "'Scuse me, boss, but whar d' you say you wanter go?"
"To a haberdasher's," was the somewhat impatient reply.
Then came the final appeal: "Now, look-a-here, boss, I be'n drivin'
in dis town twenty year', an' I ain't never give nobody away yit. Now,
you jes tell dis nigger whar't is you wanter go.


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